It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
