i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
soo... how was my night?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
