just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
