Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
