Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
