Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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