ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
