Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
