there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
