similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
