I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
