I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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