butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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