So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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