Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
