Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
