We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize