would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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