its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
