You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
