oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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