oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
