Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
