she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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