her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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