I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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