Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
