This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
