theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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