i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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