I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and she was petting her beer can
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
