You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
