Don't EVER smell your tampon
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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