he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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