I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
