i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
