I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
well you can't waste a boner
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Randomize
