:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
