Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
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