R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
