Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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