mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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