I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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