I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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