i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
