Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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