Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
