please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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