What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
