Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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