when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
why is half of my head shaved?
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