you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
